The Confused State of a Capable Mind

Sometimes I feel that high potential capabilities can also turn into curse when not managed properly. Have you met a person who has shown real talent and high potential as a kid, but is going through series of failures and major setbacks later in life?

When you are young and perform well, especially as per societal norms, there is so much appreciation around and you start liking it. People praising gives your confidence a boost and you do even better. But after some time when you step out of the comfort zone and walk straight into the Real world, the reality hits you hard on your face. And suddenly those words of appreciation start fading. That’s when the real challenge starts. As an individual, you rely so much on encouraging words and suddenly they are nowhere to be found. You get weighed down by the Expectations! And thus, I wonder, how efficiently we damage the capable mind and make it follow the same rules, for which it was never meant to. Has the Capable Mind become curse for that individual?

I Wonder !

That stupid feeling! It has to go.

If it doesn’t I am going to drown in it. That can’t be good.

But what is this that is pulling me from inside, I wonder! All that is great and all that is alright is not enough, I wonder why?

Can I go beyond what’s scary and difficult? And when?

Another Beautiful Day

When I was riding to office, my heart was filled with warmth & happiness and I had a smile on my face. So thought of capturing another beautiful day in my life. So here it goes . . .

 

A beautiful day 

Sleeping early the previous night helped me wake up early today. With just couple of hours early filled me with so much of energy & enthusiasm.

With taking my dog out for a walk & making sure I pester my husband till he finally gets out of the bedJ, the day began beautifully. Little time on the roof trying to save ourselves from eagles & do some stretches followed by little yoga in the room, filled my heart with happiness. Happy for spending time with hubby & watching Frodo following me everywhere and doing the shavasan next to me.

It started as a perfect day with breakfast at home and packing lunch (phew finally!!)

And even the ride to office gave me the confidence to tackle the rest of the day.

So this has to be continued.. Early to Bed & Early to Rise.. Makes me Happy, happy and Happy J

 

Scared of Unknown

Why am I scared?
I wish I knew the answer.
All i want is to sleep peacefully,  but still wide awake. It's all difficult to understand.  I am looking for the ease in life. .for that Kick!
Hope to find it soon. .Amen!

What is it??

I am not sure what is wrong. I am in a flight. .leaving home and heading to Bangalore,  which has essentially become my home now.  I should be happy to be back.
But here I am sitting with tears trickling down my cheeks, unable to stop them..unable to hide them. I don't even know the reason!
There is a feeling of mourning,  as if something has died in me.
I am supposed to be happy. .recently married to the man of my choice..who loves me, in laws who are kind to me, family who has gone against all the social norms and has accepted my inter-cast marriage with full heart. And yeah. ..there is an increment in salary too. So technically nothing wrong in personal and professional front.
But this constant feeling of sadness is killing me. As if there is an obsession of being sad all the time.

What is it that I want?
What is it that I need?
What is it that my heart is searching for?

May be someday I'll have answers...May God someday arrives soon!

Stranger in Me!

I don't know what is this? The sense of love & connection or the fear of commitment.
I think both. But the unsettling feeling is something I don't like. It feels like the happiness is still a little out of reach.
I was glad to notice that now I don't feel that all the sad songs in the world were written specifically for me. Hopefully will reach to a level when I will have a different feeling that all the Happy songs are written for me :) Amen!
So many things need to be sorted, it seems time is running out! Only if I could save some for myself.

Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger!

I read this today morning in someone's blog who compares how life has changed in years. He compares the story of yesteryear blockbuster Abhimaan and the newly released Aashiqui2. The stories of two movies is more or less same but the difference in the way they end has got him thinking and questioning the mindset of today's youth.
This I feel is very close to what everyone thinks these days. The amount of pressure we have..rather say ..we create for ourselves is humongous. It's all in our heads. I guess we are in the practice of exaggerating everything. The new generation loves to Show-off, some where the humility that used to be the most possessed virtue is becoming a sign of No Aggressiveness and feeling Too Content. That is why..any small success we see, which is mostly the Beginners Luck, it goes right into our heads and we feel we are indispensable. But are we really indispensable? We are certainly not...and that's where we feel we are loosing. Followed by this..the habit of exaggeration comes into picture..and even minor setbacks look so huge that we feel that the world is crashing and just can't take it anymore.